One of the deepest and most widespread misconceptions about mental health is that we can–and should–eliminate painful thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories. This just isn't true, and it ends up causing us needless suffering.
As we all know, the truth is that even if you manage to keep pain away for a short while, it will come back again and again. And often, it comes back even worse than before. (Haven't you noticed?)
But that's OK. It really is. It's not just that you can't eliminate pain; it's that even if you could, you wouldn't want to. Your pain reveals what matters to you. The deeper the pain, the deeper the value. As Steven Hayes puts it: "we care where we hurt, and we hurt where we care." Think about it: is there anything that causes you pain that isn't connected to something you care about? Something that matters? Something you value?
We can learn to accept and live with our pain. When we work with pain rather than against it, we can turn our pain into purpose.
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